Same Diff
Something that's been on my mind for quite some time.
What's the difference between really good friends and a boy/girlfriend?
You rely on them in times of need. Whinge, whine, get their opinion.
You help them out whenever/wherever you can.
You spend a shitload of time with them (and hopefully enjoy it), be it a crazy night on the town, a road trip or just bumming around.
Criticise each other and know that we do it to help.
The only difference I seem to be able to come up with is sex.
There has to be something else I missed.
when you really like someone you will want to put their needs ahead of yours
to use an old cliche, you will do anything to make them happy.
when both of you feel this way about the other thats when you have a relationship. im not saying that you wont have this kind of relationship with your friends but its deeper when it your bf/gf.
PS physical attraction helps too!
"You'll know when it happens"??? Shut up.
The difference does not hinge solely around sex.
You have to think about the future all the time with a bf. Whether it's wondering if you're ready for a weekend together, ready for a summer together, ready to move in with each other, ready to meet each other's parents, ready to introduce a gimp, etc.
But really, it all depends on your level of intimacy with people. What's the difference between friends and family? Family and bf? Dude at the newsagent and the waitress at the 5-star restaurant? The fun thing is that you allow yourself that difference. You can exclusively show a certain side of yourself to your family, to your friends, to your bf(s). You can pick and choose what to be vulnerable about and to who.
Hrm... or maybe a bf is like... trying to become awesome friends on a much grander scale. Like you want to get to know them really quickly compared to regular friends. You meet up more often, there's a lot more physical contact, you get to know each other's families. You try to build up to what you have with existing friends in a much smaller timeframe and then you try to go beyond that and into really scary commitment to each other.
I don't think it's the "you know when it happens thing." That's bollocks. Nor do I think it's the "put other's needs ahead of your own" thing. On one end of the scale, that's fucking stupid, and on the other, while admirable, it doesn't mean your an item. AFAIK, the dalai lama doesn't have a gf/bf.
i think jack's getting pretty close with his second to last paragraph. to a large extent, the difference is individual. For me, though, it is just the sex. One on one, more time, commitment, blah blah blah, that's all bullshit.
It's the sex.
oh and, it might usually be true that you have deeper connections with a bf/gf, but that's cos of stupid social and personal inhibitions, is completely unnecessary, and your selling yourself short if you buy in to them!
So much food for thought!!!
It'll take me a few days to digest it all....except for Studds' first comment.